What’s In A Name?

My wife is done torturing her mother. For the last several months, she has been withholding our daughter’s name from her despite my mother in law’s numerous attempts to find it out. The torture came to an end on Mother’s Day when my wife gave her mom a card with each letter of our girl’s name cut out and stuffed inside the envelope. It was up to my mother in law to unscramble them in order to figure out the name. I guess white people think this is fun. Whatever.

Once we told my in laws, we decided there wasn’t a whole lot of point in keeping the name a secret any longer, so my wife posted our daughter’s name on Facebook last night to rave reviews. Our daughter’s name is “Joelle Penny Jamreonvit.” It’s important to note that it’s atypical for Thai people to have middle names. Since our last names are so long already we figure, “What’s the point of having a middle name?” Apparently, though, white people like middle names, and it seems they often use them to let their child know when they’re in trouble by emphasizing it. For example, if little Joelle does something wrong, I’m sure to hear an exasperated voice from my wife saying, “Joelle PENNY!” Then Joelle will know she’s in trouble. This will be a bit different from my childhood. When Thai children mess up, Thai people just yell and start cussing up a storm in Thai. Growing up, my sister and I knew that when Mom started cussing in Thai, it was time to run because the sandal was sure to come off and the swat to follow. (Unfortunately, my mom was a ninja when it came to the sandal, and running didn’t always help. She had great aim and could throw it with ninja-like precision.) It was about the equivalent of a middle name, I guess.

The Break Down: Joelle

So, here’s the breakdown of how we picked the name. I wanted a “J” name because my last name starts with a J. It just sounds nice. I was perfectly content with common names like, Jamie, Jessica, Jennifer (ex), or Justine (not so common). Eventually, though, my wife and I decided on Joelle, which means, “Jehovah is God.” Look, I know I went to Talbot School of Theology and have two masters degrees in Bible. And yes, I know that “Jehovah” is a nonsense word. But every time I try and explain this to people no one seems to care. Whatever. Joelle sounds nice anyway.

Middle Name: Penny

Penny was my mom’s name. I was asked on Mother’s Day, “Is it harder for you without your mom on days like these?” I said, “No, I miss her all the time.” I’ve only visited her grave a couple of times since her passing. The reason I don’t visit often is purely theological (she’s not there but in the presence of the Lord). I don’t need reminders that a big part of my life is no longer here. I have pictures of my mom all over the house and I think about her often, especially these last several months because Joelle will be screaming bloody murder soon. I wonder how she would take the news that I’m having a child. She would be excited beyond containment, overflowing with thankful enjoy. She would also be deathly afraid I would screw up somehow and forget to feed my daughter or something, but then she would realize Katie is her mother and that she has nothing to worry about.

Every time I run into people who knew my mom (and there’s a lot of them) they always mention a story I haven’t heard about her and how they were so touched by the way she lived the gospel and loved others with the love of Jesus. I hope Joelle loves people the way my mom loved people (Unless she’s on the basketball court, then I want her to destroy people with assassin-like proficiency.). I’m looking forward to telling my daughter dozens of stories about her grandmother. Joelle will shortly realize the impact her grandma had on her father’s life and will also feel a sense of love as well, much in the same way my wife does without ever meeting my mom.

My hope is that those stories inspire Joelle to love much because she is touched by the love of God in the same manner her grandma was. When she gets old enough, I’ll take her to visit grandma’s gravesite to see that grandma was real, and that death is also real. I’ll want her to realize that as a result, we should live our lives with Kingdom purpose, just like Grandma Penny did, for tomorrow is promised to no one.

Last But Not Least: Jamreonvit

A person’s last name has their legacy attached to it. Throughout the Bible, the Lord was very concerned about His Name and what it meant to Him and to His people. It was a window into His character. If you know me or have been following this blog for any amount of time, you’ll know I grew up without a father.

I remember watching a documentary on Ray Lewis who also grew up without a father. He took his mother’s name (Lewis) instead of his father’s name because his mother was there for him and his dad never was. There was bitterness in his voice when he spoke about his father. Lewis was extremely emphatic about not wanting to know his father and that having his mother was enough for him.

I have my father’s name, but I’m not my father. I’m sure some psychologist would tell me that because I lacked a father growing up, it’ll impact my parenting. Of course it will. I’m determined NOT to be him. I’m not bitter towards my father anymore. It just takes too much emotional energy to be angry with someone who isn’t even around. I can use that emotional energy towards loving my family, loving my Lord, and yelling at refs. I’m not going to change my name the way Lewis did. I’m just going to redefine it. Joelle will know her father and know him well. She will be a part of redefining the family name. (That is until some jerk marries her and changes it.)

So, in summary, Joelle is an extension of my mom, a part of my wife and I, and will be her own person (who doesn’t play soccer). I have no idea how she’ll turn out. If she turns out to be like my mom and wife, she’ll be one of the most godly women in history and absolutely beautiful. However, she has half of my DNA and may have anger issues as a result. So, we may have some challenges to work through, but that’s what makes parenthood so interesting, right?